 Not quite what I expected |
| Review Date: April 24, 2010 |
| Reviewer: J. Hauer, |
| This book took me a long time to build up the fortitude to open this book and dive in. As a mother of two young children, the thought of not being able to watch them grow into adulthood is one of my worst fears. That's exactly what this book is about so I had to be in the right frame of mind to even attempt this read. Once I did start the book, I felt disappointed as I expected more from the author than she gives the reader about her external fears and love for her family. Instead, as it must be for those who are survivors, the focus was quite internal about where she was at any given time and quite honest in her self-focus. In retrospect, I think the book was marketed more about a "mother" than as a "survivor" and had it been marketed differently, I wouldn't have felt something was missing. |
Between Me and the River
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| Review Date: March 28, 2010 |
| Reviewer: Amy Y., FREMONT, CA USA |
This is the memoir of Carrie Host- daughter, wife, mother and friend who is given a devastating diagnosis. The writing is both brutal and lovely as she documents her journey through a life-threatening illness.
Host does a beautiful job of capturing the various psychological states as she experiences each setback, each triumph. This is a very honest book and the intimacy of knowing the author's doubt and fears was very compelling.
This is a book where, for me, the intensity of it made me want to read more but was also a bit emotionally draining- for example, it was difficult for me not to think about what I would tell my own girls if I was in her position and contemplating death and not being able to see my children grow up...
I think the up-close-and-personal first person narration will be powerful for those who can relate to the author, her illness, her family, etc.. The reader who doesn't identify with the author may not find this to be as meaningful to read. This isn't a book you pick up for recreational reading. May be inspiring for those dealing with cancer- I think one could say that this isn't a memoir of someone dying from cancer, more like someone learning to live with and beyond cancer.
Overall, a moving story of one woman's struggle but def. not for everyone- may be particularly difficult for someone who is still treading water, waiting to see if they're going to win or if the cancer will. |
Insightful narrative on a subject many fear to face
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| Review Date: March 26, 2010 |
| Reviewer: Doug Milligan, Colorado |
| I enjoyed the insights the author has battling with a situation that isn't enjoyable at all. At some point, all of us deal with cancer either through a friend, family member, or personally. The author shows how it's not something that impacts only the person with cancer, but family and friends feel it too. While dealing with her own problems, she's concerned for how others are dealing with it as well. I definitely recommend this title to others to understand the challenges cancer victims face, and how they are the bravest people you'll meet. |
Lovely Book
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| Review Date: March 25, 2010 |
| Reviewer: Marisa Nitsch, Prospect, CT United States |
| You will find that her thoughts and expressions throughout her battle with cancer will take you back to your loved ones that have gone to battle against this disease. I found myself thinking and asking myself "my loved ones who died from cancer never expressed how they truely felt throughout there illness with cancer". She expresses herself in such a way that she has you crying and truely feeling what she feels. It makes you totally understand what a cancer patient goes through, not just chemo or radiation and it outwards effects on one that we all can see. She expresses her iner feelings and speaks of them outwardly which embraces the reader. Especially, when she speaks of her children. She wants to raise them, not watch someone else take care of them and give them love, the love that she wants to give and can't. As she reaches what looks like the end of this journey, she still corageously fights back. Her ongoing battle and the fight within her to live is amazing. The quanities of sea plankton that she consumed I believe saved her. This book should be read by all; especially nurses, caregivers, etc. I was really touched by her feelings and the way she espressed how she felt throughtout her battle with cancer that I can honestly say, I now know the inner feelings of one trying to stay alive. As you read this book you tend to say My God, "that's how my personal loved ones lived and kept there inner feelings a secret. Their emotions and thoughts in a trapped body, until the end, for some. I am happy to say this story has a happy ending. This book I will read more than once. The connection that she makes with the reader will stay with you far after you read this book. It will remain in your heart, forever. |
Painfully gorgeous
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| Review Date: March 22, 2010 |
| Reviewer: H. Grove, Maryland, USA |
What makes Between Me and the River both amazing and incredibly difficult to read is the manner in which Carrie takes us along on all the intimate steps of her journey. She shows us her strength and stubbornness, but she also shows us the times when she whines, feels sorry for herself, and wants to give up. She dwells equally on the moments of hope and the moments of despair. Most amazingly of all, whether you're a cancer patient yourself who wants to understand better what you're going through (and realize you're not alone), or you want to be able to understand those with cancer a bit better, you'll find she deftly places you in her shoes throughout all the highs and lows.
Carrie, in addition to being in the position to tell us all about the aspects of cancer we might not think of or be aware of (from the effects of treatment, to the effects of the disease on friendships and family), is also a lovely writer. She has a poet's sensibility and a lyrical style. Even the second time that I go back to read through some of the details of her reaction to her diagnosis, I start to cry.
If you know someone who has cancer--and the odds are high that sometime during your lifetime you will--you owe it to both them and yourself to read this book, and get a spare copy for them. It's a beautiful way to help you both understand and cope with what's happening, and maybe it'll give you a common ground from which to discuss such a difficult subject.
[note: review copy provided by publicist] |
Between Me & the River, excellent read
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| Review Date: February 13, 2010 |
| Reviewer: Barb N, MN |
| I bought this for a friend of mine going through breast cancer treatment after reading the reviews on Amazon. Since I do not have cancer, I can only imagine what my friend might be going through and often worry about saying the right thing and wanting to be there for her. This is a great insight into what a person dealing with cancer may be going through. I read it and thought it was great. My friend read it and she said she could really relate to the author and it was comforting to read things the author went through that she also went through. I would highly recommend this to anyone, especially anyone going through cancer treatment or with a loved one going through it. |
Between Me and the River
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| Review Date: February 10, 2010 |
| Reviewer: Margay Leah Justice, Massachusetts |
Between Me and the River, by Carrie Host, is one of those books that grabs you by the hand from page one and pulls you along on a journey into the life of the writer. It dares you to stop reading along the way, but you can't stop reading because you have to make sure that everything turns out okay even though you know it must because it is, after all, a memoir. But still, you find yourself wondering along the way if it will be okay, if the author will beat the odds, because you become emotionally invested in the author's life.
This book deals with the subject of cancer with an honesty that can be at once breathtaking and brutal. It is unflinching and doesn't waste any time in setting up the issue. Here is the first line from the first chapter, entitled Miles and Miles, for instance:
"Hardly any other word leaves us as numb or as frozen in time as cancer."
And with those words, you are hooked. Who among us hasn't had the same thought, or dealt with the same fear? Coming from a family that has lost many people from cancer (on my father's side and my mother's side), I have a great intimacy with the devastation that cancer can wreak, not only on the victim, but on the family of the victim, as well. And I fear it. I fear the mere possibility that it could strike again, at any time, in any member of my family or circle of friends, or even in myself. But reading Ms. Host's memoir, I am not quite as fearful as I formally was and for that, I thank her.
Although it is often not an easy book to read, I would recommend this to anyone who's had a challenging time in their life and needs a reminder that they are not alone. |
Eloquent, passionate, and full of literary appeal
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| Review Date: January 15, 2010 |
| Reviewer: Lara Robinson, Louisville, CO United States |
This amazing memoir is one of the first non-fiction books published by Harlequin, the publisher that is well-known for churning out steamy romance novels. I applaud the publisher for recognizing the power and beauty in this story.
I finished this book several days ago and am still reeling from the raw force of this understated memoir. Mrs. Host was diagnosed with carcinoid cancer, a "cockroach of cancers" that doesn't respond to chemotherapy and can only be surgically removed. Even then, the cancer will ultimately return. It's a cancer that has no happy ending. I didn't know this fact going into the book, but as I read further and further, I was comforted to remember that this book is a MEMOIR, which means that Mrs. Host lived to tell the tale.
This is a book about a woman who is diagnosed with cancer. But it's much, much more. It's a story that spans several years of her dealing with the crushing blows of cancer, surgery, and living the details between those moments. It's a story of a woman who wonders about the meaning of life and who ultimately answers it.
Time and again, she feels like the "River" is claiming her, sweeping her away from her stable life, the husband she loves and the three children she adores above all else. She learns to swim the emotional current that often appears as black as the unlit sky, and how to get out of it again. She learns to let go of some things, and to grasp others with an iron grip. It's a story of allowing oneself to experience love in all its ferociousness, tenderness, and beauty.
I cried through so many parts of this book. My emotions were shredded by the incredible honesty Ms. Host expressed. She doesn't hide behind irony or cynical humor. She opens the door to her heart and invites the reader to float with her through the emotional "River"; the vast undercurrents, the rocks that lie beneath, the rapids and shallows that threaten to pull you under at every blind turn. It's a ride into the unknown that is utterly worth taking.
I absolutely, 100% recommend this book to anyone who is willing to look beyond the confines of the physical into the deep abyss of the emotional, spiritual, and unknown landscapes that have yet to be explored. Mrs. Host faces her certain death by carcinoid cancer by continuing to live each moment, each month, as if it's her last. I feel challenged by her honesty and truth to see if I can live with the same recognition of the gifts and love that I have.
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Touching
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| Review Date: January 14, 2010 |
| Reviewer: Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, ME |
| A very personal and unflinching view of a life threatening illness seen through the eyes of a mother with cancer. Well worth reading, a moving and passionate look into the courage, determination, support, and resources it takes to survive. |
Very well written book
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| Review Date: January 2, 2010 |
| Reviewer: Terry Crock, Massillon, Ohio USA |
In my opinion, the best part of this book was the ability of the author to write in such a way that the reader could easily identify with her. She is extremely good at depicting how her trials affected and changed her, her family and her friends. I think anyone in a similar medical situation could gain comfort from this book.
I do not think the constant references to "the river" and the "cancer is like that" bit helped the story, however, as they became just too repetitive after awhile. Also, sometimes I felt a bit disconnected (just because of living in a vastly different economic class) when the author would mention things like being concerned that her chartered sailing trip to the British Virgin Islands may be interrupted because of medical testing and such.
However, these are only minor issues compared to the major ones in the book, such as it being rather scary that the medical people took so long to find out what was wrong with the author and her sometimes inability to find doctors that would listen to her.
Overall, this is a very good book. It is well written and inspirational. There are many, many books written on these types of medical situations, and while I think this book is as good as any of them, I also don't think it is a great deal better either. Because of that I gave the book an average rating of 3. That is not a "poor" rating; it simply means I like the book but found it no better or worse than similar books dealing with the same subject.
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A book of Hope and Tears
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| Review Date: December 24, 2009 |
| Reviewer: P. M. Ayers, Midwest USA |
| Do you want to read one of the saddest books ever? Read this! Do you want to read a book full of hope? Read this! Do you want to read a love story? Read this! Do you want to feel the emptiness, loneliness and fear of life-threatening cancer? Read this! This book is one of the most gut-wretching reads I have ever opened. You know, the author must have survived, because she has written the book, but while you are immersed in the book, you don't even think of that. You live every terrible experience, every pain. This book is not for the fearful, the coward, the unfeeling. It grabs at your heart. While this is not an "easy" read, it may well be the book that can change your life. Congratulations and hands-up Kudos to the writer. I wish Carrie, Amory, Chanel, Marco and Baby William and all who helped this courageous person continued good luck in their futures. Thanks for sharing your story. Highly recommend. |
A Story of Hope and Compassion
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| Review Date: December 24, 2009 |
| Reviewer: Mrs. C. Colbert, Lancashire, UK |
This is an incredibly moving story of how Carrie Host deals with the most devastating news anyone could have.........being told that you have cancer, particularly when your youngest child is not even one.
One minute I was in tears as she was preparing herself for how to gently tell her two teenage children of her diagnosis and the treatment she would be having, and the next I was smiling as she describes her husband, Amory, getting the car ready --
"Amory is already dressed and scraping ice and snow off the car, shoveling a clear path for me. Before I can even get my coat from the closet, I hear the engine turning over .............. sadly, he has become accustomed to my waking him at all hours........ he's never annoyed or put out, he's just constantly bailing out my boat as it begins to fill with water."
Throughout the book I kept thinking how lucky she was to have such a wonderful husband and loyal friends who looked after the children at the drop of a hat, even though some of her friends did disappear as some people just couldn't cope with seeing her battle. She was incredibly philosophical about this and understanding - which to me sums up her whole attitude to her situation.
As I followed this warm, likeable and very strong woman as she dealt with her cancer, I loved the way she constantly compared her life to being in a raging river -- sometimes she felt like she was being pulled under the water, at other times she felt as if someone was pulling her out.
This is a lovely, feel good story full of hope and compassion. |
Clarity and comfort
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| Review Date: December 22, 2009 |
| Reviewer: Linda Bulger, Penn Yan, NY |
When a life of comfort and blessings is suddenly torn with a devastating diagnosis, there are many ways of dealing with the loss. Author Carrie Host chose imagery, love and determination. She also chose to write about her experiences, and the result is this inspirational book.
After a pregnancy marked by unexplained pain, Host was diagnosed in late 2003 with a rare form of cancer called carcinoid tumor. She was just 40 years old; her children were ages 13, 11 and ten months. Her cancer, though slow-growing, was fairly advanced and she had to undergo extensive surgery to remove tumors. She acknowledges that her situation was eased immeasurably by her supportive parents, sisters and husband, and by the comfortable financial circumstances that allowed them to find the best doctors. Traveling from her home in Boulder, CO to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota for care, she navigated a terrible time of physical pain and the emotional pain of being away from her children. At the end of the book Host's cancer was in remission, her health restored but her future unclear.
Many have suffered and survived a transformative life-threatening illness, but few have written about it as insightfully as Host. Using the image of a river carrying her along without her will, she tells her story and describes her own reality through the ordeal. Coming back again and again to her love for her children, she worries about the impact on them of having and possibly losing a mother with cancer.
This very personal book is about much more than cancer. "None of us really has more than the present," Host observes. As for the rest, "We do have a future, and the picture of that future is made up of a bunch of dots called 'right now.'" Truths like this, not earth-shaking but comfortingly recognizable, are welcome reminders of what we already know. Between Me and the River is full of humor but never cynical; full of love but never sentimental; and thanks to the clarity of her writing, absorbing from cover to cover.
Linda Bulger, 2009 |
exquisite
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| Review Date: December 22, 2009 |
| Reviewer: AudreyLM, Brookline, VT |
| You don't need to wait for any dire diagnosis to relish this beautiful book which is all about savoring life, loved ones and THIS MOMENT. Carrie Host is an exquisite writer, a profoundly wise and loving woman. Thank you Carrie for allowing us into your world, for your frankness about the unimaginable hard times, and for your willingness to revel in life every chance you get. A fine, fine book. The audio download, which is how I "read" this book, was performed with infinite care and skill. |
Stuck on the banks?
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| Review Date: December 19, 2009 |
| Reviewer: Judith Paley, Denver, CO |
I recently lost a family member to cancer. On the road to the end, E endured three horrific abdominal surgeries. Now I know, courtesy of Ms. Host, that the pain she endured was like her insides felt "shredded and dripping with battery acid." E just gritted her teeth and moaned. E's friends gathered round in support, and indeed, as for Ms. Host, one she might not have been counting on turned out to be the real deal, "the one who decides how she can help you and then just does it."
I could go on and on with examples of how Carrie Host nailed the situation in words, clarifying E's experience and helping me understand her fear, doubts, pain, the agony of leaving her daughter too young, and finally the peace she found. While I can't speak for how cancer patients would view this book (perhaps too much information and too painful in a been there/already doing that kind of way?), I can emphatically say this is the perfectly written lifeline for those of us on the banks of cancer's river, wringing our hands as to how we can help.
Both as a caretaker and a medical professional, I assure you this is the book you'll want in your hand as you reach out the other to your friends or patients lost in this overwhelming current. Simply wonderful. |
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Between Me and the River -- Living Beyond Cancer: A Memoir by Carrie Host is an intimate insight into the thoughts of a woman living with cancer
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