Between Me and the River -- Living Beyond Cancer: A Memoir by Carrie Host

My Book Review Rating: 6 out of 6 stars 6 stars -- another life changing book that I urge you to read

When I think that up until a year ago my bookshelves were filled with fiction I still can’t believe how many amazing books I have missed out on reading. Memoirs have just never been on my list of must-read books -- but in Between Me and the River I have discovered yet another life-changing book that I am honored to have read.

When this mother of three received the shocking diagnosis that would change her life she felt like she was dropped into a raging river; a river which she refused to drown in as she worked with her doctors in conjunction with natural medicines to try and fight this incurable cancer that had taken over her body.

Carrie Host has poured her heart and soul into this book; sharing with her readers the most intimate details of her fight against carcinoid cancer. From her thoughts and feelings to her interactions with her family and the details of her surgeries Carrie has documented her fight against this life-threatening disease in a journal style memoir.

I’m actually finding it hard to write a review that would do this book justice. It is beautifully written -- lyrical at times, it is heart warming and heart wrenching at the same time. And most of all, it is inspiring. In an interview with Carrie she actually describes Between Me and the River “not as a cancer story but as a love story, full of inspiration.”

I personally connected with one thought in particular and that is facing your fear. Carrie describes her fear as a great tiger that she keeps locked in a cage, but one day she knows that she has to face this fear.

“I see him pacing in his too-tight cage. He is not purring but growling dangerously low. The longer I sit and look, the more I am able to see him for what he is. he is the opposite of love… Finally, I watch this hot, angry tiger lie down, panting with exhaustion. It is time to let him go. guarding him has worn me out. I reach down deep and find that without my fear, all I have left is love, the key to his cage. It is with pure love that I look fear in the eye, and simply put, we fit together. there is no me versus him. We are only what i see. I open his cage. He does not devour me, as I once supposed. He does not need anything from me, now that I’ve let him go.”

I urge you to read this beautifully written book as it will change the way you think about your life, and remind you that nothing should ever be taken for granted.

• Read an excerpt of Between Me and the River (pdf)
• Read the Q&A with Carrie (pdf)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD77TFLoR3E

Between Me and the River -- Living Beyond Cancer: A Memoir by Carrie Host is a post from: Blue Archipelago Reviews

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1. Sixtyfive Roses: A Sister’s Memoir by Heather Summerhayes Cariou

The Unit by Ninni Holmqvist

My Book Review Rating: 6 out of 6 stars 6 stars – this novel will make think about how you value yourself and the people around you and the price you place on your freedom.

When I picked up the press release for The Unit I almost put the book to the bottom of my review pile – a previous reviewer had described it as: “Orwellian horrors in Xanadu on Xanax – creepily profound and most provocative.” Talk about putting me off as a reader! But I picked it up, and I’m glad I did, for this is one of the most thought-provoking books I’ve ever read (hence the elusive 6 star rating). And actually – now I’ve read the book – that description is pretty accurate!

The novel is written from the perspective of Dorrit Weger, a childless writer who lives alone with her dog and is close to the poverty line. On her 50th birthday she is taken to a special unit – a reserve unit for biological material – where she must live out the rest of her life. These units have been set up to cater for dispensable people – women aged 50 and men aged 60 – who are childless or don’t have a job which contributes to society. These people don’t have anyone who loves or needs them and aren’t considered useful to society, so they serve the community by undergoing various tests and studies – imagine animal testing performed on people. Eventually they donate organs to the needed citizens – those who are loved, raise children and contribute to the economic growth of society – who need organs from healthy bodies to survive.

The unit itself is a beautiful facility, with shops and restaurants, a fitness facility and a huge winter garden and the dispensables are well looked after and are encouraged to forge relationships with their peers.

This novel is beautifully written from the perspective of Dorrit and is a rich and riveting read – it also prompts many questions. What value do we place on our lives and the lives of others? Are those people who choose to raise children really the only worthy people in society?

The Unit has echos of Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go – though I much preferred this novel. If you are looking for ideas for your book club then you should definitely add this to your list; I suggest you stock up on snacks before your meeting though as I suspect the issues and questions raised by Holmqvist could fuel hours of discussion!

The Unit by Ninni Holmqvist is a post from: Blue Archipelago Reviews

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Sixtyfive Roses: A Sister’s Memoir

My Book Review Rating: 6 out of 6 stars 6 stars – thought provoking and insightful; everything I ever read before it has paled into insignificance

I have just finished reading this amazing book, and having wiped the tears from my eyes I am now sitting here wondering how on earth I can write a review that can do it justice. All I want to do is implore you to read it.

I have never had any interest in non-fiction, who needs memoirs and biographies when you can escape with all that delicious fiction? Having read Sixtyfive Roses my thoughts have changed. Over the last 14 months I have written countless reviews, exclaiming that I had found amazing books that must be read. They all pale in comparison. In fact I feel so strongly about what I have just read that I think I will need to take a few days to digest it, and learn from the powerful messages delivered within it. It could be a while before I’m ready to pick up another book.

For those of you who need a little more insight into just why you should read this book I’ll try and explain why it’s so powerful. Sixtyfive Roses is Heather’s account of her family’s journey into the world of Cystic Fibrosis. When her little sister Pam is diagnosed with CF at the age of six, Heather promises to be her protector, and die with her so she doesn’t have to suffer alone. At the time of diagnosis Pam was given months to live.

On her death bed, at the age of twenty-six, Pam implores her sister to write their story. To tell the world what they lived through. It is some years later before Heather puts pen to paper, to tell the story that “lies somewhere between truth and memory”. But the story she tells is powerful and insightful. Of the sheer determination on the part of her parents, who found the Canadian Cystic Fibrosis Foundation in an attempt to help Pam and other children who suffer with CF. Of her turbulent teenage years, where she finds herself torn between emotions of guilt for being healthy and anger and jealousy towards her sister. Of her younger brother Jeff, who is also born with CF, but lives in the shadow of Pam, whose disease is more virulent and life threatening.

Heather shares the story of her sister’s courage, kindness, honesty and generosity. Of her fight to live life to the full, and give something back to the world before she is forced to leave it prematurely.

The story of their lives is beautifully written and is almost poetical at time. In sharp contrast to the cruelty of the disease that threatens to darken their lives, is the love of the family that shines through Heather’s account.

Readers whose lives have also been touched by illness, disease will perhaps find a ray of hope and clarity. Those of us who haven’t will discover a new understanding and an appreciation for all that we sometimes take for granted.

I am here living and breathing. I am here eating blueberry pie, sipping ice tea, and for a moment it feels sinful to be so alive. Until I remind myself that this is how Pam would want me to feel. She would want me to revel in the warmth of the sun, the taste of her favourite dessert, and even the sultry humidity that once made it so hard for her to breath. She would want me to live and grow in all the ways she imagined I could. To live for myself, not for her. Yet I still can’t help being aware that I am living a life Pam never got to live.

So I try to never take my life for granted, to live consciously, holding nothing back. yet there are moments when I’m frozen in fear. Fear of not getting this life right. Fear of not holding it precious enough. Fear of failing Pam. [...] This wrestling with my feelings never ends, but that’s good, because it means I’m fully human and alive. I am healing.

www.cysticfibrosis.ca

5% of proceeds from the sale of the book will be donated to Cystic Fibrosis foundations in Canada and the US.

Sixtyfive Roses: A Sister’s Memoir by Heather Summerhayes Cariou is a post from: Blue Archipelago Reviews

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